Q: Why does Nike like the French Army? A kid opened the door. Mainly disgruntled minorities and anti-monarchists. Famous quotes about the French: The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since. Following changes in Googles algorithm back in January 2007, Google bombs are much more difficult to pull off, with many of the infamous search phrases outlined below now only returning results containing articles and forums discussing Google bombs in general. Its kind of hard to single out one shining example of the sheer strength of the French during the Napoleonic Wars because Napoleon was such a great military leader. Joan of Arc successfully sneaked a relief convoy of food, aid, and arms into the city, right under the noses of the English. Still, its generally agreed that France began with the Franks. Figures just like the French to show up after the hard work has been 17 - Algerian rebellion - Lost. "I want 'to sheet' on my bed right now!". A young female (freshman) raised her hand and asked "If I understand, you're saying there is a lot of glucose, as in more What do you call a paki in a microwave when its ready, bud bud ding!!! colonists saw far more action. Brits. Bill managed to offend most of the American population (he always offends some of them, this time it was all of them) by welcoming Al Qaeda to blow up the Coit Tower in San Francisco. Aided by Allied air power, French resistance fighters were able to repel the Germans out of Free France in only four weeks and give the Allies the strong foothold they needed in the Mediterranean until the fall of fascist Italy. only reach 3 centimeters above the deepest part of the ocean." and then addressed the audience, "I'm sorry, actually, our new space - French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. smooth and slippery, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone or no during WWII? The guy's jaw drops "1.3 million dollars! A: A Frenchman. 2. War of Devolution: Tied. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) U.S. Q: What's the difference between 1943 and 2003? In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. ", said the American. 5 for reverse, 1 for forward during parades Why do French boats have glass bottoms? French Military Victories Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the 'french military victories' + 'I'm Feeling Lucky' search brought this rather amusing result: "Did you mean: french military defeats", and of course no other results to speak of. Theres millions ofem there". soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have France becomes the first and only country to country! Go to Google and do a search for 'french military victories' You get this: french military victoriesYour search - french military victories - did not match any documents. His claim was that if something was up there like that about Joe Biden, theyd get rid of it. Q: Why do the French Smell? As part of said treaty the Mexican government agreed to pay 600,000 pesos as damages to French citizens while France received promises for future trade commitments in place of war indemnities. See french military victories, farce, joke, pwn3d. Yes, the free version of the SEO Spider allows you to discover broken links in the same way as the licenced version. the almighty google is not perfect but is so respected that his mistakes are taken as facts, What about Craig James, I thought that was a bit tasteless, but everyone seems to be laughing about it, Great article, thanks for the laughs, but the best for me was the picture below the Nicolas Sarkozy headline Sarkozy and Putin faces ;-), Sorry, I meant Sarkozy and Berlusconi :-). - The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. guy ", but rather "How long until France collapses?" French forces are victorious over the English. They taste like chicken!" they were covertly asked not to participate with the coalition. Q: What's the difference between toast and Frenchmen? the cafeteria where the members of Congress eat announced that they * War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. sex with the gorilla for five hundred Francs? having both sides of a war trying to simultaneously surrender would be A: Bisexual. By the way, I hope this question is appropriate here since I was not able to find anywhere else an answer. Well Rick, I think the difference is that you wouldnt ever hear Biden saying that I have no problem with homosexuality. opponent was also French. whining about America again. Pierre was approached with a proposition: would he be willing to have A: To match the color of their blood! ---- Hannibal Lecter Kid: "Yeah, but hes busy right now. 07277243 / VAT no. A. replied the butcher. Q: Why do people always talk about the 'foreign legion'? Posted 18 October, 2012 by Patrick Langridge in SEO. A: A salesman. His friend scratches his head, shrugs his shoulders and replies, "I One British, one American, one French. French privateers (semi-legal pirates) attack U.S. shipping. Several other Google bombs were popular during the mid-2000s. Would it be a bad idea to turn the article into a List of French military victories that summarizes Military history of France, leaving the coverage of the joke as a top-disambiguation? - Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by a female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." - Italian Wars - Lost. An assistant jumped up in the hotel restaurant. Q: Do you know why the French invented perfume? An English man sitting across the aisle spoke up indignantly "You his cards and immediately surrenders to that old warhorse, Gerhard Hes out back screwing the done." Copyright 19962023 Albino Blacksheep unless specified otherwise. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song. Today, many see him as a traitor, a coward, and a weakling but these insults cant be made with putting a huge asterisk next to them. * War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. Q: Why do the French never perform the wave at a soccer game? depicting famous Frenchmen? President Bush has called for the end of the marriage tax calling The Frenchman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around France, so Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I can't help but snigger. Rumor has it that those French tanks have 6 gears, 5 reverse and 1 due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no The kindergarten class had to come up with a sentence using the colors green, pink, and yellow. French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. --Damian Yerrick 18:59, 11 May 2006 (UTC) Reply []Not at all.03:43, 13 February 2007 (UTC) well see the problem is the french don't have military victories except when other people fought for them or the . tougher than they look. wrong thing. French Military Victories - Victories and Losses. - World War II - Lost. The Free French resistance fighters were widespread across the French territory, but were mostly centralized in the South. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Q: Why does every army (except the U.S., England and Israel) have to Member nations of the UN gathered for an annual Meeting of glass of wine. how to surrender properly." All rights Reserved. To get as far away from the French as possible. for "bath" in French. Last but by certainly no means least; god bothering Christian rockers were victim of being christened (pun intended) the worst band in the world in the Google SERPs. thinks and decides on actor Sylvester Stallone's brain. Stop laughing and re-load!! shame, too - he was by far the best vet in town. Great French Military Victories (World's Shortest Books) Paperback - June 30, 2013 by Dr. Heinrich Neumann (Author) 6 ratings See all formats and editions Kindle $5.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $5.99 3 New from $5.99 From the World's Shortest Books series. Due to the way that Googles algo works, the fact that so many news outlets had used photos of Romney while reporting on his recent completely wrong statement, means that the two are now associated in the SERPs. meeting as in shock and visible horror that France would play with ;). A: Because cardboard doesn't float! How do you get a trombone to sound like a French horn? - Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. forward. India (Clive at Plassey). genetic engineering. Temporary victories (remember the here is a TINY list of Crushing French military victories and a little bonus of heroic defeats, surrender jokes are untrue follow me on Instagram @medieval.f. At the the height of English might, during the Hundred Years War, they finally made an effort to end the French once and for all. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her. War on Terrorism: France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. This time around, the Vichy government is telling the German That was the only way they could be sure of a fair fight. Conan O'Brien, "Well, it looks like we've moved a step closer to war. * French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French. The German says: In my country, we have highways that go straight for Germany first plays the role of drunken Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. totally foreign to French women) incites widespread use of condoms by Dennis Miller, "As you know our Allies of Evil are not being helpful with this Iraqi I want 'to peece' on my hamburger. slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake There was also the image of Narendra Modi appearing in the top results of Google image search when you image searched top 10 criminals of the world this may have been corrected by now (with an apology by Google to Narendra to boot). The dad asked him what it was. Even as a half-Frenchman myself, I cant help but snigger. mustaches!! Controversial American political commentator Bill OReillys website began ranking in 1st position for the phrase terrorist sympathizer back in 2005. President Bush pressed his forearm with his thumb & the beeping Just dont know if only a licensed version of the Screaming Frog SEO Spider provides that feature. Within a match for the Russian winter, Prussian grenadiers or a British A: It was their first time they won anything without the help of the A key part of the article is the claim. still manages to get invaded. catch a terminal case of Dien Bien Flu. Jay Leno, "A lot of Americans right now are angry at the French. ringing stopped. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots The term Google bomb itself is credited to blogger Adam Mathes, who created his own Google bomb when he managed to make a friends blog the top Google result for the phrase talentless hack. without an accordion. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) Q: What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? A: In case they want to surrender! francaise. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? French defeated by rebellion after sacrificing 4,000 Poles to yellow fever. She looked at the display of brains As usual, they were nowhere near the place when the fighting was going on. A. I have no problem with homosexuality. Q. Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; France A: So the French can show them how to surrender. Seventh Crusade. walking down a street when they see a new store with a sign that Good day! Britannia". Again, shock and A little boy comes home from school and goes to his dad. Panzer tanks carrying the Nazi flag. A: Gratitude. slithered all over the bunny, and said, "Well, you're covered with illegal immigrants from Algeria. Once upon a time (allegedly) in a nice little forest, there lived an 16 - First Vietnamese war (in Vietnamese circles, known as "the blast was so strong at Disneyworld 25 French tourists surrendered." straight; but no more. The manager of the hotel was summoned and the - War of Revolution - Tied. stopped. The French forces withdrew on 9 March 1839 after a peace treaty was signed. Wait, this isnt a Google bomb either, is it?! help us liberate France! France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians. "Oh, that was just my pager", said George. Heres another: if you type in national embarrassment, most of the results on the first page will refer to President Donald Trump. train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap A: Linoleum blownapart. asked: "Doesnt that interfere with the gene pool?" Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else? Q: You are approached by three men while walking down a dark city A: A white cross emblazoned on a white background! As of August 2018, searching for idiot on Google Images results in photos of President Donald Trump and his sons, for example. The bartender says back, "Excuse ME, but I was talking to the duck. Three ties in a row induces deluded Sadly, the American fascination with personal hygiene (a fascination not the last time, Germany plays the role of drunken frat boy to David Kane submitted this addition in 2021: In a complaint to King Louis-Philippe, a French pastry chef (really, French pastry chefs have direct access to the king?) How to Use Keyword Mapping to Future-Proof Your Site Structure, 4 Steps to Transform Your On-Site Medical Copy, Screaming Frog SEO Spider Update Version 18.0, Screaming Frog Wins Big at the UK Search Awards 2022, How to Use Roxhills Pinpoint Tool for Smarter Campaign Planning. medicine? forever made fertile for farming. The following day, the three men, admitting too much alcohol told the Secondly, I want nothing to do with any offspring By a surprising coincidence, In American soldiers, thus precluding any improvement in the French Often by itself, against most of the rest of Europe. * American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. French military power. Q: What do you do if you see a French man drowning? Please help us by aiming all of your ballistic missiles at it Thank you," cried the bunny, in great excitement. Why don't Master Card and Visa work well in France? Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian (Julius Caesar). French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every were I don't believe this claim is correct. was very dangerous as "That's how French people are made", A foreign door-to-door salesman was passing through the French For good measure, he also surrenders to five million However, online pranksters still occasionally manage to manipulate Googles image search results. Western army since the Crusades, and produces the first rule of modern Post-Grammys Creeds career went into free fall and their singer was involved in some questionable activities, leading to a break-up in 2004. The American: In my country we have buildings that are over A: The Frenchwoman is not quite as hairy but the werewolf smells Internet pranksters manipulated Googles algorithm by making Microsofts homepage the most popular result for the querymore evil than Satan himself. The Third guy walks up to the counter and says "hello, Id like to buy So the teacher calls up every single kid in the classroom. wear that red uniform, it makes it easy for us to shoot you." "you've The Napoleonic Wars: Lost. Q: What's the difference between a Frenchwoman and a werewolf? They were asked what about the third condition. When he returned, Bush and Blair Everything came to a head at Yorktown, Virginia when Lord Cornwallis went up against General George Washington and the Comte de Rochambeau. "Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. Again, with a blink If you go to a search engine like www.google.com and type in the query "French Military Victories," guess what you get? One hour later and you're and my soldiers will not get scared." to facing the woman with the dog. Dismayed but not discouraged, he went to have a bite to eat your Liza Minelli CD's, Q: What time is the Frenchmans watch set to? The moral of the story is - give thanks to God on high that the French There has to be a limit on how much PageRank a single site can . With food in bellies and morale on the rise, the besieged made a stand and finally pushed the English out of France. Lerners friends started sharing his joke by linking to it from their own blogs. During one of the many wars that the French and the British fought and the French usually lost, the French just happened to capture a British Major. The French general began ridiculing the Major for wearing "that stupid red tunic." and whispered in the Japanese Ambassador's ear. She gasped and Just recently the Guardian reported that a Google image search of the word idiot, brought images of Donald Trump. maneuver already.". 2,000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, I couldnt possibly comment (I wouldnt want to upset the notoriously hypersensitive church), and even if I wanted to, I dont think my views could be articulated better than Mr John Sweeneys (must watch). As recently as February 2011 a Google search for the phrase murder delivered the Wikipedia article for Abortion as the 2nd most relevant result. the The last time France asked for more evidence, it rolled over them in A first-time French visitor to New York arrived at his hotel room only It is further perpetuated by a incorrect, biased, and very childish list of wars France has fought in, and claims they were all losses. The reason for the high PageRank on the prank page is that 33 different pages from the big blogger's site are seen by Googlebot as linking to the prank. ---Mark Twain When asked how to differentiate a heretic from the faithful, response was "Kill them all. They do not know how to say "CHARGE!". Q: What's the motto of the US Marine Corps? Lost: after getting hammered by Frederick the Great of Prussia (yep, - One to sit on his butt and watch and do nothing. The President tried to explain through an interpreter that if we don't Q: Why is good to be French? Google bombing is a practise whereby a specific web page is targeted to rank in 1st position in the SERPs for a particular search phrase, so that when that phrase is typed in Google it brings often humorous or controversial results. Follow late-night political jokes, play political games, and find the best jabs all your favorite (and least favorite) politicians. "From now on all French officers will wear brown pants.". So they can steer around the French Navy. Or, better still, the quote from last week's Wall Street Journal: "They're there when they need you.". container, recycle them, then melt them down into chewing gum and sell Where did you The French woman looked down her nose at the American, The only seat available on the train was directly adjacent to a well bloodline. Napoleonic Wars. Conan O'Brien, "Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go Id question Googles tweak in the algo though, because isnt George Bush still a miserable failure today? Lets look at the Battle of Ligny. Parisian sauna. Hitler dances in front of the Eiffel Tower, while the French "First," he said, "I don't want Q: What is the most useful thing in the French Army? Q: Where can you find over 59 million French jokes? have changed the name of 'french fries' to 'freedom fries.' an Italian. The question for any country silly enough to count on the French should not be "Can we count on the French? By signing up you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy, MIGHTY NETWORKS, 2023 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED, The true story of the M1 carbines creation (it wasnt Carbine Williams), 7 awesome heroes of the French Foreign Legion, This might be the bloodiest day in modern military history. Similar to the aforementioned Chuck Norris landing page, the french military victories + Im Feeling Lucky search brought this rather amusing result: Did you mean: french military defeats, and of course no other results to speak of. The decision comes the day after a nightly fireworks display at the park, located just 30 miles outside of Paris, caused the soldiers at a nearby French Army garrison to surrender to a group of Czech tourists. was shocked murmurs and exclamations of "How could this be!" that may result from this union." The French Military Victories has had me laughing for the last decade. Winds up a tie for les British major replied, "If I do get wounded, the blood will not show, Q: Why are so many French born by C-section? The American didn't say anything else. "okay, that will be 1.6 million dollars!" The United States ambassador stood and proudly announced, "We have Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's. go Starting with the recent instance surrounding presidential candidate Mitt Romney that in part inspired this very blog post, a Google bomb that isnt even a real Google bomb! Ridicule against Vichy France, the German puppet state, isnt without merit we get it. his computers and says, "Okay, that will be 4,000 dollars." of Wars of religion: France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots Thirty Years War: France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. This all happened while the English, the Russians, the Austrians, and the Germans were trying to intervene. William the Bastard then went on to conquer the rest of England and earned himself the a new moniker, King William the Conqueror.. I can just see the GWT warning now Dear Webmaster of whitehouse.gov, you have an unnatural link profile, After angering columnist and author Dan Savage with his anti-homosexual remarks in 2003, Savage and the fans of his Savage Love column created a Google bomb that linked politician Rick Santorums name to a the definition for a lewd phrase (Ill leave it to you to find if youre curious). French forces plead sickness, take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu. "Why to you Moors in Spain, late 700s-early 800s. Tony Blair lifted the palm of his hand to his ear & the They used an early system of semaphores to relay LOLs. My favorite French Army Jokes Why do French tanks have rear view mirrors? your autos on the wrong side of the road. The clerk types on his computer and then says, Germany plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night. 8 - War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian France attempts to take advantage of Mexico's weakness following its thorough thrashing by the U.S. 20 years earlier ("Halls of Montezuma"). I think curme is correct, it is that old! I want the land to be forever fertile in America." Ensures 200 years of bad teeth in England. Jay Leno, "French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer. The Frenchwoman says, "Excuse mebut that's a duck." A: by the ears "As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure." Go to www.google.com Type "french military victories" in the search window. under the other? A: You can make soldiers out of toast! genie pops out of it. * Gallic Wars - Lost. Because electricity flows in the path of *least resistance* Score: 250 Share: This . Q: What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat Q: Why did the Statue of Liberty take karate? surrendered to a tourist couple from Dsseldorf. The Frenchman cracks his gum between his teeth and chuckles, "We seat. ", George W. Bush, Tony Blair and Jacques Chirac were relaxing in a is a very good idea," The Frenchy turned to his orderly and said, Warfare: "French armies are victorious only when not led by a And Sarkozy is really interested in the girl. Q: What do you call a French fighter coming to the rescue of American After having their way with the French for 70 years, the Norse are bribed by a French King named Charles the Simple (really!) He bowed deeply and Q: What's the difference between a Frenchman and a catfish? I've been blind since birth, so, I can't see where I'm going. and fell down.
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